A Much Needed Break in Barbados! (and the job change story)

The past year has been full of change – and change can be stressful. Until now, I had been lucky enough to never really experience the stress of a major job search before. My first job out of grad school was a continuation of my doctoral teaching role for Michigan State. I was nervous about finishing my dissertation (a condition for getting the full time gig) but I never had the to run the gauntlet on the economics job market. When we moved to Wisconsin, I had just scored my first grant and I continued to work from home on contract work but was not officially looking to return to work when I connected with UWL and learned they had a tenure track position open. I did my first round interview 8 months pregnant and my 2nd round only a few weeks post partum. Again, stressful but I was just focused on one application and one interview process and I was fortunate enough to get the offer and spend nearly a decade with some wonderful colleagues in La Crosse.

When I decided to explore roles in industry last year, I was not prepared for how stressful job search can be. I’ve studied job search as a labor economist, and I thought I could empathize with the human experience behind the data but the reality itself was so much harder than I had expected. I interviewed with several major tech companies, a start up, a medical research firm, and I was a wreck from about the time I send my first applications out in January (Why is no one contacting me yet? Maybe I’m not employable!) through March when I was scheduling final round interviews left and right and feeling like I failed each one (I remember permutations and combinations are not the same thing but I should have tattooed the formulas to my forearm! Now I’m sure I failed that technical screen…) My brother was so patient with all my questions and freak outs and was such a great source of advice and help as I navigated the culture of the tech job search.

Thankfully before committing to mathematical body art, I received two offers back to back that I was really torn between. Even though I had a tough decision to make, I was so relieved to be able to cancel the final round interviews with other companies and be done answering questions about coin flips and balls and urns. The roller coaster of interviews, talking with recruiters, not knowing whether to send out more applications or wait, playing chess over scheduling final rounds and negotiating offers was exhausting. And did I mention the balls in urns?!? Although I was tired and needed a break, I didn’t have the luxury of any any time off between jobs. Indeed wanted me to start as soon as possible and though I wasn’t teaching, I had a lot to wrap up at UWL before I could feel good about stepping away. I care a lot about my colleagues and I am insanely privileged to have searched with the knowledge that I had secure employment with good colleagues to return to. Most job seekers don’t have that advantage.

Looking back, I’m actually glad we didn’t try to take a break or go on a trip before I started or while I was newer at Indeed. Academia was (and really still is) so much a part of my identity. Stepping away was hard. I felt unsettled and unsure about whether I had just blown up my life. While focusing so hard on getting an industry job, I never stopped to think about how it would feel to start over new again. I knew so many things about how academia worked, and I could navigate all of the UW System quirks that seemed normal, if annoying at times. I spent my first few weeks at Indeed with a major case of imposter syndrome, even though everyone I met was really helpful and honest about how long it took them to ramp up (they were right – it takes 6 months). I remember taking a little time off in June (I had started April 25th) and being so unaccustomed to actually putting up a vacation responder and unplugging that I struggled to truly relax. But my boss knew I was struggling with this and I appreciated her telling me one night at 6pm that I needed to stop chiming in on Slack. She was on Pacific Time but knew I was Central and she reminded me that this could wait – we do important work but it’s not brain surgery. Tomorrow morning is soon enough. There are times when that’s not the case, but when that’s the exception rather than the rule, you have the energy to give what is required. And I’m grateful to have a mentors at Indeed who have helped me navigate when things have gotten intense. Navigating long hours in academic always felt like a solo sport and at its worst it felt competitive.

Flash forward to now – I’m feeling far more comfortable in my role. I’ve learned a ton and I truly love the work. There are things I miss about academic life but there are more similarities than I would have expected. I still mentor and teach – it’s just not the formal academic setting. I’ve done as much or more challenging econometrics in the last 9 months on the job than I had been doing in my academic research. And I’ve learned the value of being able to take time off. This is something I wish academics could learn from industry. Instead, academics talk about being ready for the school year to end so they can get some time for research. Even after making tenure I regularly worked a 12 hour day each weekend to get uninterrupted time for research. I spent time at lakeside summer VRBO slaving away on an R&R rather than in the boat with my husband and my kids. I took calls and zoom meetings from Jamaica when Dave and I were there with the kids last year and I ended up on a search committee because technically I didn’t have paid time off and felt I couldn’t block my calendar and say no. Some of that’s on me – I could have done less and been successful. But in those moments I truly could not figure out how.

There’s something about the ability to claim paid vacation time that feels different – like time away is a priority supported by your employer and recognized as something that enhances your productivity. You see successful people all over the organization do it. You are encouraged to compensate for and reset to quit the unhealthy habits we fall into when trying to do long hours of desk work. We have some major things going on at work right now and I just started reporting to a new boss, but when I mentioned my upcoming trip I had strong support from her to protect that time, I’ve seen that attitude consistently across the company, and do my best to practice it with my own direct reports.

So, after signing on with Indeed last spring, Dave and I decided we would take part of my signing bonus and take advantage of the open PTO policy Indeed offers to splurge on a vacation to Barbados just the two of us. At the time, February of 2023 seemed a long way off but I’m so glad we waited. After all, as of this coming fall, we will have been together for 20 years… This time, I didn’t have a laptop with me. I did not check email. I did not have to schedule our trip around breaks in class schedules. And, because of the generous signing bonus, we splurged on a truly exceptional suite. It was everything we had hoped for – and we were nervous about hoping because the last trip we had tried to plan just the two of us was supposed to be spring break 2020… Neither of us really believed this was happening until we got into the car at the airport in Barbados to take us to the hotel. But it happened and we’re so grateful to have had this time together. Huge thank you to Grandma for having the kids at her place while we were away – though they were jealous of the beach and the warmth we enjoyed they had a great week back here at home with her too!